I know that the original story behind To Write Love On Her Arms is full of religious remarks; I've read it enough times (actually just reread it), as well as other writings by and about him to know that Jamie Tworkowski is a very religious person. I do not believe, however, that TWLOHA is a religiously based movement. Sure, God can play some part for those who need a god, but the main point behind TWLOHA is community. Community, no matter which way you spin it, revolves around people. Part of TWLOHA's mission is to encourage people to help other people, to listen, to love, to support, to give hope to.
Hope is a funny thing. In reality, it's completely illogical. Hope is like playing make believe, like making a wish and always having a part of you that thinks some day it might come true. I equate hope with dreams: both involve some element of a fantasy that we search for truth in. Maybe they'll come true, maybe they won't; but we can never be certain of the future, so hopes and dreams are really all we have.
I feel like I sound like one of those bible thumping, hardcore, youth group attending Christians who touts the bible as the only thing to live by and God as the only mode of saving souls. I promise you I'm not. To tell the complete truth, I don't really believe in anything "higher," nor do I really believe that anything exists after death. I used to (and maybe still sort of due, though I have nothing really swaying me in this direction any more) believe that when you died your body went into the ground and your soul wandered the earth, hence the reason for ghosts. However, I've never seen a ghost, or had any type of spiritual encounter, so I'm pretty sure that you just die, and that's it. Sorry if that's depressing for anyone, but I honestly believe that once I'm better, this believe will allow me to live my life to the fullest (because with my theory, I don't get a second chance).
Speaking of getting better...
Today I was unofficially diagnosed with depression. My therapist's exact quote: "I really do believe you have a mood disorder: depression."
That statement, the reality of hearing that said out loud and accepting it for what it was, brought me to tears. It was the second time I've heard a version of those words from her, but this time she said "I really do believe" instead of the simple "I think." And maybe last time I didn't actually accept it. I admit I was in denial, and still am, about a lot of things. I don't even know if I'm actually ready to start this whole recovery process all over again, this time with absolutely no one to support me through it. I realized that I need to make a ton of changes, little ones as well as bigger, more life altering ones, and that idea terrifies me.
Going back to counseling, even though I have no one supporting me, giving me a reason to go and continue going, is probably the biggest step of my life. It took admitting to myself that I really do need help, and that I will have to go it alone in order to learn to live again (and to learn to live for myself for the first time). This was the most difficult thing I've ever done; and, as I told my therapist, I'm not even sure if I'm ready to take this step right now; I'm not sure if I want to start on the path to recovery and "normalcy." I'm literally terrified; I actually felt nauseous and light headed an hour before my appointment. Those feelings only got more intense while I sat in the waiting room. Big steps like this are very difficult to take, but they are necessary in order to actually live life (so I've learned).
Anyway, this all brings me back around to my initial opening of believing in people and TWLOHA. The organization that I hold so dear to my heart revolves around some stuff that I don't agree with (the God thing), but the bulk of it contains so much that applies to everyone, no matter what your religious affiliation, or lack there of. The idea behind To Write Love is that people can come together and help each other get through the tough times in life, simply by being there for each other. Lending an ear, offering a shoulder to cry on, just supporting a person's dreams and goals, or simply being there to hang out with someone when they need a friend--all of these are little acts that don't have anything to do with a religion; they have to do with people helping people, people genuinely caring about those around them.
The amazing part of TWLOHA is that so many strangers are helped by other strangers through something as simple as kind words, a message telling them to hold on for one more day. One of TWLOHA's mottos is "Hope is real, help is real." The business of hope and help doesn't have to do with God. People can help others and give them hope in so many different ways. This is what makes To Write Love so great: we all know pain, hurt, and loss, even those of us who don't directly (or even know someone) who deals with the issues TWLOHA is about. Everyone has had their heart broken, has lost a family member or pet, everyone has struggled with something. This is fact because no one is perfect; we all have problems, we all are flawed. Hope is what brings us together, hope that things will get better when we're having an off day, when things aren't exactly going our way. We can never be certain that things will begin to look up, but we have hope that they will.
The funny part about the religious aspect of TWLOHA, and religion in general, is that I believe all religions are based on hope--hope is not created by religion, it is the foundation of it. People need something to remind them to have hope, they need a reason to continue living every day, they need a reason to help others and help themselves. By devoting themselves to a religion, people receive the guidance they need to remain hopefully and helpful people.
I do believe that if no one believed in God, the world would be a truly peaceful place. There would be no reason for people not to help others. Helping others allows you, as well as the person next door, to get what you want and need in and out of life. I know this statement will be cut down by people who believe that if there was no moral code then we'd all be stealing and raping and killing each other. And I don't doubt that that is one possibility. However, I would hope that in a world that solely revolves around people, they realize that the only way anyone will enjoy life is if they all get along and help each other.
People may not be stable, or reliable, but they are physical. A person can actually hold you while you cry, respond to your questions about life with possible answers, and hug you when you need one most (and even just because). God can't do any of those things. I think that people need to stop putting their faith into an unseen, unheard, untouchable, unknown figure and start putting faith into each other, as well as themselves.
Talk. Learn about people who are different than you. Learn about their good times as well as their bad moments. Listen. Hear people out and accept their opinions and believes; don't force your ideas on them and they won't force theirs on you. Respect each other. You don't have to like that someone is different than you, but don't make them change themselves (especially if they're happy) to fit your preconceived molds (especially since you're unwilling to fit theirs).
I wish that people will learn to love each other regardless of anything. Everyone needs to be loved. Everyone needs people. You cannot tell me that anyone on this planet enjoys being lonely. Regardless of what someone might say, everyone wants a friend. (Friends are actually necessary for human survival. Studies [that I'm not gonna take the time to look up and cite] have actually found that a person growing up in complete isolation is more likely to have mental health problems as well as die younger. Yes, you can die of lonliness.)
All this being said, I hope that the very least that you take from this is a new perspective of your fellow man and a new appreciation for loving and spreading hope to a stranger.
*We will be the hopeful.* - To Write Love On Her Arms
PSA:
- TWLOHA is a non-profit organization that strives to create an open community for people to talk about the issues of depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide (as well as other topics such as anxiety, eating disorders, sexual abuse, and the like), as well as invest directly into treatment. The idea is that through creating an open, friendly community, more people will start seeking treatment for their problems and recover to live full, healthy, and worthwhile lives. Through instilling hope in those struggling, TWLOHA hopes to show people that their story is important, their lives are important, that holding on for one more day is worth it, that the future will be brighter, and that they deserve to see that future the whole way through, regardless of their past or present states. To learn more visit http://www.twloha.com
PS. I know this entire thing was more of a PSA and not exactly an elaboration on change, but I felt as though it fit well in this blog compared to my others.
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